Goodbye Dad

 

Our family would like to thank you for being here today to say farewell to my dad, Thomas Cresswell Anslow, or as we all know him: Tom.

Whilst his passing was not unexpected with his illness over the last few weeks, it is still difficult to come to terms with losing a father and a grandfather.

As you know, my dad after much convincing and after a setback in August last year, moved with us to our new home in Largs. 

While resistant to change, once here dad, Heather and I were looking forward to spending more years together as a family. 

The time he spent with us were happy, filled with sport, music and watching the magpies.

This is quite a different lifestyle to the one dad was born into. 

Dad was born at home in 1929 in a two up two down terrace house in Walsall Wood, a small mining village in the Midlands. His mum Annie was the village midwife. It was a tough life with low income to barely make do after his father died of ‘black lung’ from mining, when Tom was six. Tom however thought it was one of the best times of his life.  It was a simple life with minimal school attendance and tagging along after his older brother Dennis, scrumping for apples from the ministers yard, football and roaming the village and surrounds. 

Speaking of football, Dad’s favourite team is Wolverhampton Wanderers so dad was thrilled last year when his team finally made it back into the First Division / Premier League and almost to the semi-finals, after so many years. He definitely made a point to see that game! 

Dad absolutely loved most sports, football, soccer, cricket and motor racing so he had his entertainment covered for the entire year. Whilst these were not always popular with mum, he did seem to find time for them. 

His love of sports however was completely overshadowed by his passion for classical music. He was introduced to classical music by my mum’s father Norman, whilst dad was waiting for my mum to get ready for their date. 

Well…..when I say introduced, it was more like “you are not leaving here until you listen to this…” type of introduction. Suffice it to say, the way to a future father-in-laws’ approval is paying attention to the music.

Not only did this courting lead to mum, it led to a life-long passion for classical music with Beethoven and Liszt being among dad’s favourite composers. The music selected today came from dad’s collection. 

I know it was dad’s great passion and he wanted to share his love for music with those around him. In fact, I can imagine him saying, “Do you really want to speak? Can’t we replace this with another piece of music?” 

My childhood memories are of a father who was devoted to his family. The centre of his life was my mother, Ann, to whom he was married for 62 years. During this time, we emigrated from the swinging 60’s in Lichfield England to late the 1940’s in Launceston Tasmania. 

It was a real culture shock for both mum and dad and is one of dad’s favourite recollections. The Tasmanian people had strange accents and strange ways such as the women wearing a hat, gloves and ball gowns to work functions. Dad was not one to conform or be dictated to.  Instead he encouraged mum to wear a provocative ankle-length dress slit down the side and stood up to those who would criticise. Whilst what mum wore is conservative by todays’ standards, it really was something shocking to those ladies wearing tiara’s and furs. 

There was a lot of pressure on dad at Repco when he first joined as the company culture was for the men to spend each afternoon at the pub instead of going home. There was no way my dad was going to leave his young family at home to adhere to peer pressure. 

In today’s world where only the common or popular opinion is believed to be the correct opinion, where differences are to be criticised and ridiculed, I prefer to look to dad’s example in not following the crowd. They are not always right as he repeatedly demonstrated throughout my life. 

The last 4 years since mum’s passing have been the hardest for dad. Mum was the centre of his world and his hobby was to make life easier and happier. They rarely spent time apart. Not a day went by when he did not mention her. In his last days he was dreaming of her. So, while it is such a difficult thing to have to say goodbye to dad, it my great hope and belief that he is now where he will be happiest; in heaven with mum and enjoying his music. 

We will miss you dad.